They call me Sir Dinkletime
They call me Hydra King
They call me Bather Dan
They call me The Goat
They call me the High Priest of Vesuvius
They call me Lizard Towers CEO
They call me Soda Guy
… And now they call me ADOS
Who does? Sometimes real people, usually my head canon. I’ve always needed some sort of avatar to view myself through. If I imagine myself as something inhuman, something without limits, then I myself am empowered to do more than I should be capable of. It helps me rationalize life in a way.
Anyways,
My name is Lancelot Rounds. I am a Chemical Engineering student, with a long term dream of starting my own fruit flavored soda brand. I’ve been obsessing over sodas and exotic fruits for many years now, and I have decided to put my full efforts into pursuing it. I know my potential, everybody seems to, and I refuse to be stuck wasting it in something I hate for the rest of my life. I am going to do this until I either succeed or crash and burn horribly.
In 2019, I found my first “weird” sodas while on a college tour trip. It opened up a whole world of possibilities for me. I have always been obsessed with “completion” of sorts, so I decided to make it my goal to try as many different sodas as I could possibly find. At first I was just saving the labels to put in a binder because I thought they looked cool, but then I started writing short reviews below them in the binder. A few months later, and I started posting on my snapchat. From there, I posted consistently every single week, constantly increasing my huge database of soda-based knowledge. Along the way I became interested in exotic fruits and hot sauces as well, and would occasionally write reviews for those too.
Over the years I constantly had people requesting I make videos instead, and though I was hesitant at first, I knew it was inevitable. As my interests in soda grew, I realized that I did not enjoy engineering. I made the decision to switch majors to chemical engineering, and to fully pursue what I feel is my purpose: to create the best sodas the world has ever known. Starting with creating a bigger following with my review series. I knew I needed to have an archive of my reviews in a more digestible format however, so now I am taking on the gigantic task of creating a website from scratch to house my massive backlog of reviews. With no prior website building knowledge, it will be a long and slow process, but inevitable as far as I’m concerned. This website will be a work in progress until I am caught up, and at that point I will make videos instead. Go to the Goals page for a further breakdown of my plans.
My style of reviews was initially designed to be read only by me, and understood only by me. I started with only my own opinions in mind, and I have pretty much continued to insert bias into every review. Every take I have is my own opinion, and though I know I will have haters and people who disagree with me, I am going to stick to what I know, and I hope you find my thoughts interesting.
Nonetheless, in order to carve out a unique style for myself, every review will canonically be written by ADOS instead. ADOS is the newest character inhabiting my mind. It stands for All-Devouring Omnipotent Sludge. He is the God of snack based knowledge and the yellow face in my logo. You can read more about him on the Lore page. I am the human vessel by which he conveys his divine verdicts on everything he consumes. He is a biased asshole but also obsessed with knowledge down to the slightest most insignificant detail. If you disagree with him, let him know, he will be happy to devour you too.
